It's still kind of hard to keep food down, or just be okay with food in general. I'm always either not eating or eating everything in sight. Go me.... :(
Earlier, I went to the gym, did my new workout (I'm actually sore from the past couple days of new workouts, by the way, yay!), and then ate a metric fuckton. That went something like this: the remainders of an apple (ok), a bag of nut mix (ok..ish), some steamed cauliflower (ok), a bit of asiago cheese (ok...), and thennnn... a Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich (ehhh), shitton of ciabatta bread (eateateateat eat everything), a mini bagel (still eating still eating), another bag of nut mix (what am I doing), some more asiago cheese (ugh), and then I downed a Coke Zero (purging is imminent). And so I went and purged basically everything up to the cauliflower, I think. That's my first real(?) binge in a long time. Tomorrow will be better....I hope?
I went and inspected the state of my teeth and throat in the mirror too, and...I am most definitely ruining both by b/p so much. Or just at all. So...this needs to stop, and I'll just go back to my not-eating..... It's a bit scary how easy it is to transition between not eating and b/p-ing. But, at times like these, I'm glad for it. I used to be praised all the time for my white teeth. I see bits of yellow/darkness forming between my upper molars now....... That just breaks my heart.
This is (once again) day 0, no more purging.
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