I waste so much time with this ED. When I'm not eating or thinking about wanting to eat, I'm always looking up calories, or looking for thinspo, or anything else related to food and EDs. It's tiring, and it's now the wee hours of the morning. Again. I just want to sleep early and wake up early so I can be productive in the mornings, but I can never be productive because I'm always worrying about stupid shit related to EDs. I've been watching episodes of "What's Eating You." It's a show that used to be on E! about people with eating disorders. It's interesting, but also makes me realize that, although I am fairly similar to the people on the show....I am not sick enough to be put onto a show. I'm not extreme enough and that's absolutely fine with me. I don't want to be sick enough to the point where my bone density is that of a 70 year old's. I don't want to let myself get to that point. Yet, I still want to lose weight. I still want to be skinnier. My daily intake budget keeps going down and down and what I could eat a year ago makes me severely uncomfortable now.
It's early/late already.... so much for my plans of going to the gym early and getting much done throughout the day. I am not even tired yet. Somehow. The worst thing is, the more I look up these ED stories and watch WEY, the more it just makes me want to eat. Fail.
Right now, I just want to go eat something, but I should wait until I wake up later. Eventually. Whenever that will be, because I have no idea when I'm actually going to bed.
I really just want to get back on track with a more healthy lifestyle, like eating more veggies and fruits and making sure I exercise regularly.. I'm thinking of doing the BHF diet as an experiment, and then perhaps I'll put myself on a new diet to keep myself in check. I think that, if I don't have something to work with, I just don't know what to do with myself and just b/p all day.
Anyone have any diets/plans to recommend?
I hear ya, I spend so much time on my focus with food. but unfortunately I like it in a way. I have done the SGD semi successfully. I think I am going to give the ABC diet one more go ahead this week and if i break I am going to have to do something more realistic. Whats the BHF diet? Maybe I will don that if it doesnt work out or maybe we can do something together, itd be nice to have someone
ReplyDeleteSorry it took me forever to reply, hope you see this! I'm catching up with your blog and it looks like the ABC diet is working out for you, congrats. BHF diet is a 3-day diet that claims you can lose 10 pounds in those 3 days. I'm thinking of starting on Wednesday the 22nd..so doing that through to the 24th? I'd still be down to doing another diet with you whenever you're done with ABC though. :)
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