I was triggered by Tumblr, wasted a ton of time going through blogs and looking at thinspo and generally feeling shitty.... so I figured another post was definitely in order.
Lately, I've been home for break and I've barely counted calories, barely kept track of what I ate, and it feels kind of nice. Not gonna lie, it almost feels like I'm ...normal? lol. But, I feel so fucking fat and I've hardly done any exercise on top of all the eating I've been doing. I only sort of binged once in my entire ...week or so that I've been here now, which is really nice, but I still feel disgusting.
So...I guess where I'm at now is.. I'm not weighing myself, I'm not counting calories, and I'm not exercising like crazy. It's really nice, actually. But I do need to watch what I'm eating more. I think if I can just eat healthier, then it would be just like normal. Unfortunately, I still want to lose a shitton of weight and I still want to be much thinner, so... conflict of interest much? Haha.
In other news, I haven't purged in a really long time. Like, I can't even remember the last time. I haven't been counting the days, and maybe that makes it a little better? But... sometimes it's like my body will just automatically do it for me. And then I'm just kinda like...well if it's already in my mouth I might as well go spit it out. But that's rare, and I hope it stays that way (or else something might be terribly wrong!).
So yeah! How is everyone doing? I'm about to go catch up on all your blogs.
This girl fucking inspires me. Basically my dream body.
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