Back to 0

Didn't eat after that last post until 7pm, which was awesome, but then that one thing I ate just left me in my usual state of I-want-to-eat-everything-I-can... so I broke down and ate a couple cookies, some ice cream, and a pastry. And then I gave up and purged, even with my sore throat and cold. Going to try again to see how long I can make it without b/p. I just need to keep reminding myself to drink more tea/water and eat more fruits/veggies when I get cravings. Fresh produce makes me feel so clean.

This girl is my greatest thin/fashion/style inspiration.

Day 5

Man, only slept about 3 hours and pulled an allnighter the night before. I'm really tired! Anyway, I finished the BHF diet without any cheating! Did not lose the full 10 lbs, of course, like I expected. Surprised I actually lost anything really at all, but it's probably all water since I was drinking a shitton of water/tea/coffee and consequently making 23948 restroom trips.

I was fucking retarded after midnight last night, though. Decided I was done with the diet, weighed myself to check the "final" results, and then went and eat tons and tons of food. Wheat snack crackers, jalapeno cheddar bread, ice cream, protein energy bar.... yeah I'm a dumbass for sure. I guess if I list it out it actually doesn't look too bad.. but I felt my body starting to reject all the random food I shoved into my system and I knew I wanted to purge.... I felt like a fucking drug addict going cold turkey. I was crying and actually shaking on the couch, knowing the toilet was right there and there was nobody to intervene...but myself. I'm on day 5 of being purge-free and I refuse to break my streak! That was really hard last night, but I'm glad I didn't let myself purge and instead I did some exercise, then went to bed. I mean, it was still 5:30am by the time I went to bed but that's better than staying up until the sun comes up because I was puking my brains out.

In other news, I don't think I'll be able to do as much high-impact exercise while my foot recovers from standing in 4-4.5" heels all day last weekend for a performance.... There's probably something wrong with my nerve since my middle toes goe numb for like a week every time I wear those particular pair of heels (hopefully just because those are my only really tall heels and not because they're shitty... they're my favorite pair, loll). I had to stop exercising for about 40 minutes yesterday just because it felt like a muscle in my foot was pulled. My toes were all twitchy and everything. My body must just be a giant wreck!

Here's part of the workout I did last night, found from Tumblr:

I learned what a burpee was for the first time last night thanks to this.

I think I should go on another sort of diet or meal plan to keep myself from going crazy like last night... My world needs order! Any suggestions or anyone that wants to do something together? I'm thinking I might try the Special K cereal one or SGD next.

Oh and I just want to share the pic I'm using as my Blogger pic since Louboutin heels are just fucking fabulous ♥ I would also love to have her legs, thanksss!

Accomplishment

Finished the first day of the BHF diet! And this is my 2nd day purge-free. :) Have some celebratory thinspo.